Here’s a post that gets under the doctrinaire, kneejerk brain-cramp afflicting so many, so called progressives of all stripes:
(http://renegadeevolution.blogspot.com/)
An Open Letter to the Radical Feminists
Re: Please stop degrading me and others of my ilk.
Ladies:
I am allowed to call you that, yes? In any event, I would like to formerly request that as we are all part of the female half of the human species that you cease and desist in treating me and others like me as if we were something less than human. I would appreciate it greatly if you stopped assuming on one hand that I am unable of making my own choices, overly victimized, and deluded, or on the other, unconcerned with women in the sex industry who do not wish to be there, a greedy, ruthless whore, or a man pretending to be a woman.
I realize you all have your studies and statistics and stories, your reasons for feeling the way you do and believing what you do. I do as well. And I do firmly believe that my truth is no more valid than your own, yet the reverse is also true. I’ve not been raped, abused, or forced into anything by anyone. Economically, I am probably better off than a great many people in “normal fields”. I have the luxury of being able to pick and choose what I do and with whom. I am fortunate in that aspect. I also am not the type of sex worker, in any aspect of the field (stripping, nude modeling, porn, escorting, any of it) that ends up in your studies and statistics, because one: people like me do not produce the desired results, and two: though I pay taxes and play everything very safe, the last thing I want is legal trouble. There are more women out there doing sex work who are “in my boat” than you think, women who are college educated or using sex work as a means to pay for their higher education, women who are in various aspects of this business who have stable, loving relationships and do not desperately need the money, women who see sex and not an act of intimacy but as a purely biological function that can be sold just like the skills of a personal trainer or massage therapist. We’ve made a conscious decision, as adults, to do what we do. Trust me, I put a lot of thought into my career choice, and I did so logically.
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August 28, 2006 at 07:28 p
Professor Zero
Some of my better students have been sex workers.
August 28, 2006 at 07:28 p
thefreeslave
I think I’ll make a film: “I Was A Middle Aged, Paunchy, Male Prostitute.” Bam!
August 28, 2006 at 15:28 p
thinking girl
see, now, this is what I’m talking about. I wish that every woman and man who is a sex worker had this opportunity: the chance to decide whom to service, the chance to choose sex work out of many options, the chance to be in control and not powerless to addiction, the chance to experience sex work as a job and not as a logical result of childhood abuse, etc.etc.etc.
yet she is careful to distinguish herself from the typical view of prostitution, isn’t she? she doesn’t want to be thought of in the sterotypical way we think of “whores”. She’s saying, not all of us are like you think, so stop associating me with that - she’s drawing an “us” and “them” dichotomy. She’s not saying “stop associating all sex workers with rape and incest and drug addiction and economic desperation and un-education,” she’s saying “stop associating ME with all those things.” I think she has a lot more social power than most people who turn to sex work. So lucky for her. really, lucky. There are always divisions among any group, many of which are self-drawn.
Still, capitalism and patriarchy are best buddies. I’m not convinced we ever have free choices under these rules… at least not all of us. White male hetero richie-riches seem to be able to choose unencumbered by powerlessness. The rest of us… it’s relative.
thanks for posting this J!
August 28, 2006 at 16:28 p
RenegadeEvolution
Thinking Girl:
I draw that line of difference because there is a difference. I am a sex worker, just like all other sex workers, but no one of us represents all of us, and entirely too many people use one image for all of us…and that image is not wholly accurate. I also seriously advocate anyone and everyone to help women who want out of any aspect of the sex industry out of it. I realize there are a lot of women doing it who would choose not to, and that does bother me as well.
August 28, 2006 at 22:28 p
clampett
Great post.
That’s what this evil shit is all about; trying to make somebody a fraction of a person.
BTW, I honor RE’s distinction.
August 28, 2006 at 22:28 p
thefreeslave
Its hard to be OPEN to so many thought bubbles I’m finding. When I figured out that I could “observe without judgement” and look and then look and then look some more…revelations ensued. When I put my judgement on the backburner, I realized I so often see people with my prejudice and not the reality of who they are.
Its like this quote by Anais Nin, paraprased: ‘we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
BAM!!!!!!!!!
August 29, 2006 at 22:29 p
thinking girl
thanks Renegade. I think there is a distinction too, and I’m thinking it just simply has everything to do with freedom from oppressive barriers. Some people have more shit to deal with than others do. Mind you, I don’t think most of us are as free as we would like to believe we are - just my philosophy about free will and determinism. the triple whammy of patriarchy and white supremacy and capitalism renders most of us less than free to determine much of our lives.
your concern about being associated with those other sex workers - the ones you are distancing yourself from in this letter - is basically the opposite of the concern I have: that too much focus on sex workers who have more autonomy about the decision can reinforce the common misconception that ALL sex workers can and do freely choose sex work. Of course, I understand where you’re coming from, I wouldn’t want to be associated negatively either. thanks for addressing this concern by advocating support for those women and men who participate in sex work because they don’t have options otherwise.
August 30, 2006 at 05:30 p
spotted elephant
Renegade Evolution is a wonderful person. I’m thinking about starting a fan club for her.
I’m a radical feminist, and I (obviously) value many of the ideas in radical feminism. However, the behavior of some rad fems online has been so awful it made my stomach hurt.
You can’t claim to care about people and then speak to them as if they were the shit on the bottom of your shoe.
September 2, 2006 at 18:2 p
FrenchKiss
I don’t believe that she’s trying to distinguish herself, so much, from other sex workers, but rather she’s telling you her experiences are different, without excluding the possibility that others are in situations worse than her own. In fighting for our own voices, we do not wish to squelch the voices of others in our line of work. We do not claim to speak for all sex workers, unlike the abolitionists who feel that their POV is representative of all in the industry.
September 9, 2006 at 20:9 p
belledame222
French Kiss’ (and others’) interpretation was my own.
and thanks for this post.
March 12, 2008 at 15:12 p
I think I found a new subhead for my other blog « Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
[...] analysis of this juicy, juicy scandal or a nuanced position on the age-old debates about sex work, porn, blowjobs, on and [...]