Me and the truth?

(Crosses fingers) We’re like that, SON!!!

Some call it a bullshit detector - I call it self-preservation.

Here is an email I sent yesterday to one, Barbara Bernstein, radio talkshow host, know-it-all-hubristic-hedgehog:

Barbara,

I am the African-American - not white - man, who called at the end of your
show today, critical of progressive faintheartedness in the wake of 6+ years
of Bush’s imperial presidency. Your show and approach are indicative of the
exclusionary approach that is normative in white progressive PDX; its the
shared approach the ruling class uses to silence dissent. It is ironic that
so many white liberals don’t like Bush; I see little difference.

There is a tiny group of people who have been trying to get the attention of
the so-called progressive leaders and media heads who condition the troops
as it were. You should read Pattrice Jones’ “Let’s Put On A Show”
(http://www.thinkingpeace.com/pages/Articles/arts158.html) for some
perspective. You may not be willing to go there.

What you said about me (once I left the air) was that I was “negative,”
which conveniently eliminates your need to examine whether or not the shoe
fits. Self examination is not a high priority, I understand that. However,
your shit does stink and it is black people and other people of color who
have to smell it. Do you have no blindspots, have nothing to learn from
other people with a different perspective? I hear nothing in your on-air
persona that indicates humility or a willingness to hear opinion that
doesn’t jibe with your own.

You claimed that you had “tried” to get me to explain what should be
happening/what we should be doing, to a later caller. That’s a lie. You
never asked; I don’t believe you wanted to know. But I’m not surprised.

You covered your ears and opened your mouth when should have been listening.
In my experience, that is what white people do whose image is dependent on
being ‘good’ and the ‘right’ kind of on-point white people. But what if
your image hides another reality, that you don’t want to see? What if your
privilege blinds you? No chance of that, right?

Your performance today is what the white progressive community does as a
matter of course. You are deaf, dumb and blind - particularly when YOUR
conduct and behavior is challenged. You arrogantly believe that all of the
answers reside in your own white self. And you fail to notice the
racism/white supremacy that your people practice de rigueur in Portland.

Have you ever really looked at the black community here? Seen them with
your eyes, your heart? Have you noticed the ineffectuality, the
downtrodden, beaten down appearance, the way they stare at their shoes,
shuffle? Have you noticed their political powerlessness? Have you noticed
the FIVE white men on the city council? Portland=White Power.

I’m not from here and I have noticed. I have never seen such strange, self
hating black people. Who taught them to hate themselves? Who taught them
to be as docile as plantation slaves? The white community. It benefits
white folks like you NOT to deal with the racism in you and yours. And the
price is cheap: black dignity, black power, black progress.

Clearly, you don’t want to see it, are afraid to even look at yourselves.
Its a disgrace that THE local, progressive community is so blinded by
racism, that they can’t bear to look in the mirror. You should consider
taking (a peek) for a change.

Sincerely,

MaxJulian

______________________________________________________________

I ain’t lettin’ go of a lie’s pants leg. I gots ta tell the truth and trust me - it starts with me. I’m tryin’ to tell the truth about my own black self. I need YOU to help me keep it real. If I go astray - need to hear from ya. I’m hardheaded; ask my brother, Asa. But I learn.

I’m proud to report that (I have not caluculated the number of days): I HAVE NOT UTTERED THE N-WORD IN ……..

A NUMBER OF DAYS.

Asa took me to N-word rehab; I was there with Paul Mooney and Michael Richards and all the other wretched refuse who have misused. Its truly one day at a time. I’ve had a couple of slips - but never in public. (Almost never)

I think I’m even going to start a meeting.

Hep me, HEP ME!!