Changing The World in Me
I had these aspirations to be a leader, a big-time activist, an elected official. Life taught me by this or that process, experience, or roadblock that none of that was meant for me. I’m a writer; what kind remains to be seen. But that’s my calling and I’m going for it.
I still want to change the world but new information that’s come to me suggests that I’ve been going about it all wrong. Like many, I look ‘out there,’ see reflections or projections of myself in others and maddened by my image exposed, I lash out and try to convert or change them.
This is a hurdle that it will take time to clear. Projection is so easy; disowning the unpleasant aspects of me and handing them over to you is convenient but wrong. If I tried, when I felt anger and resentment rising in me towards another, to see what qualities I shared with the person who I let get under my skin (or who was already in it to begin with) I’d probably reduce my stress level by 50%.
“Living and jiving and digging the skin I’m in…”
As a person in recovery, I’ve seen how few people who come in get it, get sober; I know what it was like to be a drunk who couldn’t be told or taught ANYTHING, a child impervious to information beyond validating “I want/what I want/when I want it!” Preaching to folks without ears is an exercise in stupidity. Few want the knowledge that could save their lives – until they want it. So why keep trying to force feed people on a spiritual, intellectual or emotional hunger strike?
Maybe the task, as Gandhi put it is to “be the change” you want to see in the world; and through example, folks can come – through their own observation or thirst – to whatever part of it they need, when and if they ever need it.