Postus Interruptus

I had to rip down a good post of mine. It was so good, it was bad.

I ripped into certain folk, cuz they’d said certain things that I didn’t agree with. I’m tired of getting into this kind of bullshit with black people. And I refuse to get into it anymore – one day at a time.

Its hard not to with certain folks.

But then its not hard.

I’ve found myself caught up in trying to prove something about myself that is not only unprovable; but is in fact evidence of my own insecurity. Why do I care what strangers who don’t, don’t want to and never will know me – say?

I really don’t.

The rest of you who come here and bring light: I enjoy your wisdom, honesty, logic, candor and love. You know who you are. And I pledge in my future posts to remember to lavish my words and attention on you and our connection and conversation.

Thanks for your positive energy

MaxJulian

11 Responses to “Postus Interruptus”

  1. Ok you got my curiosity going… what post did you take (rip) down? pray tell…. lol!

    Asabagna

  2. Dude,

    I let rip. I will say this, cuz this irks me the most: I noted how these ladies grab on to my use of the phrase “whisk broom hair,” which I used to describe the idea of permed hair (which some folks believe is a form of self hate). They take that phrase out of context (a context where I was talking about various indictments that we make against each other (‘Tomism/jungle fever) and use it to PROVE how I hate black women.

    Its like if you say anything critical of Israel, you are anti-semetic. You hate black women if you say ANYTHING that could be perceived as negative by a certain crowd. Its crazy.

    I like natural hair and I like a fit woman. I like an intelligent woman, a strong woman, a sensitive woman, a compassionate woman, a sexy woman, a funny woman. A love a woman who can see nuance and is comfortable in her own skin.

    I actually have met a sister EXACTLY like that. She’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. Unfortunately for me, she’s married. The good news, though, is that meeting her only strengthened my desire to be patient and wait for an available black woman. I know that there is no other kind of woman who could get me at the depth that I want and need to be gotten at.

    If wanting these traits in a black woman means I hate black women – then I guess I’m more i’gnant than I thought.

    My brother, I’m just gon’ wait very patiently because a good black woman is worth waiting for.

  3. It’s interesting that I first came upon your blog during your debate with RR last summer. If you remembered I commented that I agreed with your sentiments and she said a few nasty remarks and left (is it me!?) lol!!! When it came to her and her arguments, I agreed with you then and I agree with you even more now.

    I find her and her “posse” juvenile in their psuedo-intellectual, whacked out, social/cultural science of interracialism. It’s sad to say but they do sound like the stereotypical “bitter Black women”. But as they say: “Misery loves company”.

    Let me be a little frank and maybe out-of-line: RR sounds like 95% of her frustrations would be solved by getting “some”… and the other 5% if she got “it” again. lol! She will always have that 5% to contend with. (bad Asa, bad Asa). lmao….ok that was juvenile, I know…..

    Brush your shoulders off my Brother. You are correct. Why should you care what strangers who don’t want to know you and who will never know you, say?

    Much love as always.
    Asa

  4. You know, one of my defaults is to ALWAYS consider where I’ve gone wrong/my part in shit. Recovery-speak and thought has got me and its good.

    I care because I want unity among our people and spend a lot of time trying to understand racism – internally and externally. I care cuz I’m co-dependent. I care because I’m a fool. I care because I care what black women think of me. Imagine that.

    You’ll notice, what I tend to write about mostly is what we suffer, the insanity of racism and illuminating what we’re up against in order that we see it and move accordingly.

    You’d think black men ruled the world and were the cause of everything evil on the planet – if you believe what some of our people say.

  5. Like Asabagna, I found your (old) blog during the time of the jump off with the RR last year. I though she was over the top & I agreed with you.

    The Blogosphere is a big place & people are going to talk shit so for naysayers, I say fuck you BIA BIA.

    I think a lot of people hide behind the words on their blogs & probably are not shit in the flesh. People are most cocky when incognito.

    @ Asabagna – “Let me be a little frank and maybe out-of-line: RR sounds like 95% of her frustrations would be solved by getting “some”… and the other 5% if she got “it” again.” Like I said in the previous post, if a Brotha stepped to her, she probably would not know what to do. To be really nasty, I doubt is anyone steps to her with those huge eyes, oily skin & acne (based on her online photos).

    Bygbaby

  6. Grace and Peace,

    I have to add to this most interesting conversation/debate/realization/open forum or what have you.

    Freeslave, let me first tell you that you are not wrong in your desires. You want what you want. I am a strong black sister who is an artist (poet), now the stereotype is that I am suppose to love brothers with rooted crowns or natural crowns. While I do think that those brothers are beautiful, I am not all that interested in those brothers, I prefer a brother with a nice fade.

    The point is you like what you like and no one can change that. Anyone who argues with someone elses desires is only arguing because they have no one else to speak to and nothing else to talk about.

    Futhermore, after a day or two…we get over looks and we want to know what is in the inside. If you find a woman (for me man) that has all that I want him to have in the inside (along with what I want on the outside) more power to you.

    I love your boldness and the fact that you know what it is that you want. Don’t change it or that for anyone.

    Grace and Peace be unto you

    Bliss

  7. Thank You, Bliss.

    I appreciate your kind words.

  8. learning to not care about what folks think about me has been very freeing. being free to be who i am and like it has also been freeing. opening up yourself to finding someone to be with- is vulnerability- and that can also be freeing. i think that what you do here- opening yourself up to the world as it is- is courageous even when it doesn’t seem to be. there are always going to be folks out there who don’t agree or take things the wrong way. as long as you are as truthful and honest as possible- oh well. i can’t meet you on the same front being a white woman- but i can stand beside you as a fellow person on this planet. i still believe that honesty and integrity can win the day. you will find your lady love- and i am hoping that someday people will look beyond race and color and beliefs to just see people. sounds naive i know- but i have to believe.

  9. Yeah, Bet, I’m not caring more and more. Its funny though cuz when I had an “I don’t give a fuck” mentality, I was motherfucker. I didn’t like who I was.

    So its a fine line. To care when the people involved are evidencing qualities that I respect and recognize that they are coming from a healthy place. Versus these other folk who are lashing out and hating by reflex.

    And we are people, always have been, but human beings hold to these ridiculous divisions. Its like a web that has been weaved for centuries that one can’t escape.

  10. i think it is a personal growth thing. not caring what people think about you takes time and a maturity that has nothing to do with physical age. being secure in who you are and not caring what others think about how you live your life and what your life choices are doesn’t mean that one has to be-as you put it- a motherfucker. it just means you are content where you are with who you are. i am glad that you are getting there 🙂

  11. I found my way here through Bitch Who Blogs. Ever since I stated my true feelings over the last couple of weeks, she has been telling me that I should check you out.

    What did I find? A totally refreshing viewpoint. I often found myself nodding in agreement. I live in a city of liberals who sometimes drive me over the edge.

    And I’ve always been of the belief that the outer package is what initially attracts you. It’s the inner person who makes you want to stay around, though.

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