Dark Daughta Gets Deeper Still…

Please forgive me, sister, for using this comment as a post without prior permission (I’ma email you right now though)… I needed to see your words on sexuality (versus porn)…you peeled another layer of the onion which I think needs to be seriously pondered:

I can’t start by focusing in so narrowly on porn.

On good, happy, comfy, grounded days where I feel whole, I incorporate pornographer…the written, queer kind, into my self definition.

From this place, I respectfully submit that I think there are a few unspoken questions contained herein.

What excites us and why?
How were Black people constructed as deviant?
How do we experience and express healthy sexualities away from the scourge of white domination?
What does healthy sexuality look like?
What were we taught about the erotic, about sexual orientation about our bodies by our families?
How were they taught?
How far back do we have to go asking who was taught what before we get back to slave times?
How can we incorporate the idea of emancipatory sexuality into our ideas about black liberation?
What good would this do?
Would we be making a different kind of revolution, a more whole revolution if we did?
How would our children grown to adulthood not shackled by sexual dysfunction and fear of the erotic, feel about the work we could do in freedom time?

Oh…
And hey! This is my second time popping by and I couldn’t resist jumping in.

darkdaughta

10 Responses to “Dark Daughta Gets Deeper Still…”

  1. Thanks for the nod. I appreciate it and your courage, too.

  2. I appreciate your cutting to the bone: where the hell would WE be if we’d been exposed to healthy sexual functioning? Or, if recognizing our dysfunction of all varieties, we actually dealt with it/got help for it? Where would we be?

    So many activists, in my view, use their activism as therapy, subjecting their flocks and fams to their unexplored dark side. As you must believe (judging by your nom de guerre) it is only by embracing dark & light that we can overcome the poison injected into us.

    An unhealed people can never be a free people, can they?!

  3. Yeah,
    I think *unexplored* is the key word. I think that most people are driven to activism by the stuff they bear. I just think that activism ends up being seen as business, where only certain topics are acceptable, certain approaches considered palatable. If we really want to heal from what’s riding us, I think all of it is gonna have to go into the pot with the fire on full blast.

  4. wow. this is good. i think she brought up a million good points in here, and it does make me wonder how porn / sex / masturbation / any way we express ourselves truly originated and where the true exacerbation of said sexuality began. I’m not saying that porn = sex = masturbation etc., but I also wonder about the origins, and where does alladat come in. Good shit.

  5. You know I’ve been reading a bit about the idea of “sacred sex” and the “sacred prostitute”. It seems to me that a some point in time, certain cultures recognized the transcendent, spiritual power of sex and respected it as such. There was not the division between sex (bad) and the spiritual pursuit (good). It seems the mind/body split the Marimba Ani among others talks about lead us to where we are today.

    Everything is in a discrete pocket, disconnected, dead. Thus, people seek increasingly intense sexual experiences that can border on madness, precisely because the sacred has been removed from the sex. Is this why some of us become compulsive about our behaviors – because they are absent a vital ingredient and we can only see the behavior as the freeing element when it is the wholeness, the “main ingredient” that needs to be fused back in? Maybe.

  6. What excites us and why?****

    Isn’t that an individual thing?

    How were Black people constructed as deviant?***

    I can answer the why better than the how, though they are completely linked. It’s all part of White Supremacy. If we are deviant, then it makes it easier to make us sub-human, and anything they want to do to us is therefore acceptable.

    How do we experience and express healthy sexualities away from the scourge of white domination?*****

    I think that is an individual fight, and choice. We have to do what is comfortable for ourselves. That’s the only way that it can be considered healthy.

    What does healthy sexuality look like?*****

    Whatever doesn’t make you feel ashamed or uncomfortable…healthy to one person isn’t the same for another. But, healthy has to involve being healthy, and also being self-respecting. Because, if you respect yourself, then I believe you will be very discerning about who you share the most intimate parts of your being with……healthy doesn’t include as many partners as possible, because I see that as selling yourself on the cheap.

    What were we taught about the erotic, about sexual orientation about our bodies by our families?*****

    You gotta be kidding me. Black families? Not taught much. Took school and books, and research.

    How were they taught?*****

    Not at all.

    How far back do we have to go asking who was taught what before we get back to slave times?****

    I honestly don’t know.

    How can we incorporate the idea of emancipatory sexuality into our ideas about black liberation?******

    By owning our bodies would be a beginning start.

    What good would this do?*****

    I believe a lot of my fellow Sisters, if they truly owned their own bodies would make all sort of different choices. Different choices that would encompass protecting themselves because they actually value their bodies.

    Would we be making a different kind of revolution, a more whole revolution if we did?****

    A revolution including women demanding respect for themselves. Men do not give respect if a woman does not demand it. Imagine sweeping across the country, Sisters demanding true respect from their men, concerning their bodies. I believe the men would push back at first, and then admit how much they respect the women. It could be the first step in healing this breach between the Black Man and the Black Woman.

    How would our children grown to adulthood not shackled by sexual dysfunction and fear of the erotic, feel about the work we could do in freedom time?******

    if our children were surrounded by images of loving, positive, devoted Black couples, instead of our current dysfunction? The thought makes me go Wow.

    Oh…

  7. porn is subective since its designed to make money not seuality

  8. If you’re not open to a christian perspective, stop reading. But I suggest you don’t….I think its deeper then everything I’ve read so far. There is no way to justify sexual freedom for any person. Black or white, or in my case hispanic. This shouldn’t make anybody feel guilty because everyone even christians struggle with sexual purity. But through the grace of God, every person who commits their heart, mind, and soul…Well, it is up to the individual to do the hardest thing, to deny themselves the instant grafication, which in turn denies them access to thier trueself. In doing this they uncover more of their heart that can then be given over to the ‘Man’… and that is Jesus Christ. Who died for you to be free. If you rely on Him in the MIDST of your discipline/suffering he will produce a character within any individual that is unwavering, and undeniably stable, in the face of whites, blacks, hispanics, whatever…

    I’m open…hit me back.

  9. Fight for purity, monogomy, not neccesarily marriage, but try not to give your heart to more then one person in YOUR lifetime.

    Increase the peace, and your sanity, Raise the Standard! You’ve hit my heart “thefreeslave”, be gentle.

    Let me know if I can help.

    emmanuele.santana@gmail.com

  10. Oh BTW, have you seen this blogsite? This blogger might be an interesting person to engage around porn and race.

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